Handmade: The Full Story

by Adessa on Bay State

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1.
02:34
2.
3.
04:18
4.
02:49
5.
02:18
6.
03:32
7.
04:19
8.
03:55

credits

released April 28, 2017

Lyrics by Adessa Campbell
Music by Adessa on Bay State

Guitar and Vocals - Adessa Campbell
Keys and Vocals - Eva Cassel
Bass - Freddy Reish
Drums - Jac Spälti

Produced and engineered by Mike Davidson, Plaid Dog Recording

Artwork by Ariel Tobing

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Adessa on Bay State Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Fallback
Well it's not quite hell, they all call it heaven.
In between is the space I was born to live in.
I'll spend tonight in, bottle of Jack
Keeps me tied to the ball and chain I'm sure I have

We keep track of the damage done, Keep ticks on everyone
Now this heart turns to stone

I've got someone in every corner
But I'm hateful I'm bored I'm a monster
This was my fall back, but now I've fallen back down.
Lay your head down next to me
Tell me bout the girl you need
I could use something new but when the day is done
I guess I’ll, pretend that you're the only one for me

I could call, but I'm tired of you
Everything I've ever seen has always fallen through
The cracks on the bedroom floor
Now I’m pushing you out too

We keep track of the damage done, Keep ticks on everyone
Now this heart turns to stone

I've got someone in every corner,
But I'm hateful I'm bored I'm a monster
This was my fall back, but now I've fallen back down.
Lay your head down next to me
Tell me bout the girl you need
I could use something new but when the day is done
I guess I’ll, pretend that you're the only one for me

Now I've got a flat stomach
And have great sex like the magazine's promise
I've got pictures in my locket
Of whiskey soaked lovers
And the chains made out of promises

I've got someone in every corner,
But I'm hateful I'm bored I'm a monster
This was my fall back, but now I've fallen back down.

I've got someone in every corner,
But I'm hateful I'm bored I'm a monster
This was my fall back, but now I've fallen back down.

Lay your head down next to me
Tell me bout the girl you need
I could use something new but when the day is done
I could use something new but when the day is done
I could use something new but when the day is done
I guess I’ll, pretend that you're the only one for me
Track Name: Jesus Candles
I’ve been beating the marks on my neck
To keep pieces of you for the world
Come on yellow, bring the dark blue back
I’m not a lonely girl

Still my legs don’t look quite the same
When I walk you to your car
Let me catch my breath dear what a shame
We’re spending this time apart

So are we just fucking, or is this something lovely?
Or maybe this is heaven, as good as it gets.
Sink back in this with me

Where it feels like home not just a gamble
And it smells like gin and condom wrappers
And the only light comes from jesus candles
Baby you left my faith in shambles
We don’t believe
But you still scream
Oh my God

I guess I’ll roll another cigarette
Have a coffee while I wait up
The marks left there on the side of my neck
Are almost gone

Still my legs don’t look quite the same
When I walk you to your car
Let me catch my breath dear what a shame
We’re spending this time apart

So are we just fucking, or is this something lovely?
Or maybe this is heaven, as good as it gets.
Sink back in this with me

Where it feels like home not just a gamble
And it smells like gin and condom wrappers
And the only light comes from jesus candles
Baby you left my faith in shambles
We don’t believe
But you still scream
Oh my God
Track Name: Echoes
He said “no I don’t believe in god”
he said “girl, my family’s broken
If I’m going to hell, They’ll be right there with me
but my brother, well he’s gone

And the night he said “hey kid I miss you so much”
I didn’t pick up the phone
And it’s burned in my head, everything I never told him
I’d do it different if I had known

So I bite my tongue
until the blood starts to run
He’ll never know.
As the sun goes down
I wonder if he’s out there
but I’ll never know no no

It echoes echoes echoes, but thinking doesn’t help
It echoes echoes echoes, I think I lost myself

He said “girl, the line’s been crossed
baby and I cross my heart
If I tell you those secrets were nothing to me.
would you sit back, smile, pretend, agree?

Got too personal since the moment I met you
but I guess it’s good to talk
storing stories away in my mind from those times
since the day I lost my rock

So I bite my tongue
until the blood starts to run
He’ll never know.
As the sun goes down
I wonder if he’s out there
but I’ll never know no no

It echoes echoes echoes, but thinking doesn’t help
It echoes echoes echoes, I think I lost myself

maybe there’s something in losing so much
Maybe he figured it out
Maybe I lost so much of me
I'll never find myself

So I bite my tongue
until the blood starts to run
He’ll never know.
As the sun goes down
I wonder if he’s out there
but I’ll never know no no

It echoes echoes echoes, but thinking doesn’t help
It echoes echoes echoes, I think I lost myself
Track Name: Cocaine
I’ll write you love notes with my nails on your shoulder blades
If you’ll just listen, press your ears against into hipbones, babe
Cause I only see you with my fingertips and tongue

This is our golden ticket into the good life
What is it without our vices
Fast money, hard drugs and liquor
What more do you need?

And you can blame it on the cocaine
Cause bad bitches be crazy
I don’t even know your name baby,
Fast money, hard drugs and liquor
What more do you need?

I’ll rescue you from the rhythm of your every day
Let’s use our bodies to escape what we were raised for
Wasted may not get us far enough

And you can blame it on the cocaine
Cause bad bitches be crazy
I don’t even know your name baby,
Fast money, hard drugs and liquor
What more do you need?
Track Name: Bones
My lungs turned into rocks and smoke
In the years we tried to break through
You keep a ring tight around my throat
But I can’t keep a hold on you

I can’t keep an engine running
I just play musical chairs
I don’t give a fuck about him
But at least I turn his gears

You’re my person and you fucking left me alone
I put my all in you
When I was down
You were gone
I’ll turn into stone
Just reset my bones

I'll have another shot I guess
If it keeps you on your toes
Pass me whatever you’re smoking
If it keeps me senseless, that makes sense, then.

I can’t keep an engine running
I just play musical chairs
I don’t give a fuck about him
But at least I turn his gears

You’re my person and you fucking left me alone
I put my all in you
When I was down
You were gone
I’ll turn into stone
Just reset my bones
Track Name: Wizard
Age before beauty
Baby he’s in your head
I’m far from dying
Keep on spinning me round
Keep me on till the end

Age before beauty
That's not how you should live
We both know you're lying
To yourself or to me
But you get off on it

Maybe we all have someone, but need to fill the space
I’ll be your person, but that won’t make you stay

So you’re off to see the wizard
The wonderful wizard who beat me out
I don’t want to talk about
The one who won your heart

And I can say god damn that wizard
Just getting in the way
But that dusty crooked smile of yours
Tells me I’ve been on replay

In your mind
And your mine
In the back of your mind
You know you're mine

The whole world makes progress
Where do we fit in?
To see, or say we gave it our best
This is too easy
Can this be it?

Maybe we all have someone, but need to fill the space
I’ll be your person, but that won’t make you stay

So you’re off to see the wizard
The wonderful wizard who beat me out
I don’t want to talk about
The one who won your heart

And I can say god damn that wizard
Just getting in the way
But that dusty crooked smile of yours
Tells me I’ve been on replay

In your mind
And your mine
In the back of your mind
You know you're mine

It’s so easy to feel something we care nothing about
Like your hands on him with my name in your mouth

Maybe we all have someone but need to fill the space
I’ll be your person, but that won’t make you stay

So you’re off to see the wizard
The wonderful wizard who beat me out
I don’t want to talk about
The one who won your heart

And I can say god damn that wizard
Just getting in the way
But that dusty crooked smile of yours
Tells me I’ve been on replay

In your mind
And your mine
In the back of your mind
You know you're mine
Track Name: Happy
I can't find the pieces
Telling where we went wrong
But when you come home
It still burns my lungs

You're so happy
But never talk to me

I tried more than I could try
For anything else
But trying's a tired game
And I just hurt myself

You're so happy
But never talk to me

Now you're mad at your mom cause she said
This would work out
And I hate that she's wrong but we can't
Go back now

Break this house break me down
You're done, I'm done now

I can't go to Harvard
Without thinking of you
You had so much of me
And ripped me from my roots

You're so happy
But never talk to me

Now you're mad at your mom cause she said
This would work out
And I hate that she's wrong but we can't
Go back now

Break this house break me down
You're done, I'm done now

I still need you
I still need you
I want you to say I still need you
I want you to say I still need you
Cause I still need you
Track Name: Handmade
I think I take after my mother
But I exist to dismiss all resemblance
Offer up a crooked answer
But the gut wrenching guilt is endless

Hold tight the life behind
I aim to adore
I can’t shake it
Hold tight, baby,
Hold tight.

The house I painted in my dreams
Is so far out of reach
Hold tight

This handmade hell
Ain’t worth living for

I want you to inhale my words
At the end of the day it’s insignificant
Ice in my veins, the scratch on a chalkboard
I really can’t feel any difference

Hold tight the life behind
I aim to adore
I can’t shake it
Hold tight, baby,
Hold tight.

The house I painted in my dreams
Is so far out of reach
Hold tight

This handmade hell
Ain’t worth living for

I had to get out
Not much of a home anyhow
The walls all stained with blame and doubt

Heaven may be made of
Cigarette daydreams
The truth is I don’t care anymore

This handmade hell
Ain't worth living for